Investing in Good Mental Health and Family Relations Makes Business Sense

12 Nov Investing in Good Mental Health and Family Relations Makes Business Sense

BY JAMES BEECH
November 10, 2019
Dr Paul Hokemeyer, the internationally renowned clinical and consulting psychotherapist, reveals the signs of mental health distress that business families should watch out for, why generations cannot expect the same attitudes from each other, and how succession led to a founder’s identity crisis and almost the collapse of the business.
The Senior Clinical Fellow at Urban Recovery and Principal at the London based firm Drayson Mews, is the author of the recently released book, Fragile Power: Why Having Everything is Never Enough.
Hokemeyer took time out of leading a well-received session at the Campden Wealth European Family Office Conference 2019 last week to speak with CampdenFB about his work with individuals and families.
CampdenFB: How do you get involved in helping families?
PH: Typically I’m brought in by someone who takes a nurturing role in the family, the person who’s tuned into other family members’ emotions and understands that conflicts in families arise more from hurt feelings rather than hard and cold facts. The family has tried to resolve these issues on their own, but has been unsuccessful. They bring me in as a professional with the experience to analyse the situation, figure out what needs to happen to change things and oversee the implementation of the plan.
The most common issue families bring me up to address involve succession. The family wants to implement a succession plan, but there is a mental health, personality or relational issue hindering their ability to move forward. The most common mental health issues I address are anxiety, depression and something called bipolar disorder, where a person has dramatic mood swings, and addictive disorders. The most common personality issue is narcissism and the most common relational issues are matters relating to a marriage or divorce. Quite often it’s not just one thing. Once you scratch the surface you realise it’s a melange of things that are going on in the family.
Are there any mental health red flags that families should look out for?
I always look for suboptimal performance or unresolved conflict within the family. The families I have the privilege of working with are distinguished and successful, but there is a person or clusters of people within the family who are not living up to their full potential, or causing the family to get stuck.
As for factors to look for, I always look for personality changes, destructive behaviors such as drinking too much alcohol, eating too much, reckless and compulsive spending, isolation, changes in sleep pattern, and emotional outbursts. Essentially, a person becomes someone who they are not. A kind person becomes abusive. A social person becomes isolated. A physically active person becomes sedentary.
In regards to succession, I’m called in when there is a conflict that can’t be resolved. Rational and clever people become irrational and make poor choices.
To view the full interview on Campden FB with Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, please click here.